Saturday, March 9, 2013



I have an issue. Well I have many, but one of them is going to the gym. My main reasons for my lack of "gymness" are 1: I have anxiety around the people in the gym, even in the women's only section and 2: I choose classes because I despise regular workout but they are early in the morning, which usually is not a problem but my night time job has been having up late and back to my vampire days. This is also the reason I cannot do the night classes. GGurrr!! 

I understand these are all excuses. I have everything set up. It is a 24 hour gym, I am paying for the daycare section for when I take my son with me, so there is nothing holding me back...but me! Here is the issue. All of my life if I kept in shape physically it was because I was involved in a physical activity. I played sports all throughout high school (sports keep you in shape really well!!!) and I danced all throughout college (it kept me small after I had my son). So after that I started the regular adult life of job and working on my music. And my night time job made me fat. Not normal fat but "my" fat. Too fat for me. I would eat too late because I just went a 6 hour stretch of not eating, thus storing fat because my body probably went into starvation mode and decided to store the fat the food had in it. So as a result I am 15 lbs more than I want to be. And I need to change it! 

I was on a roll with my classes! I went Monday through Wednesday consistently. This would also help me keep my eating situation kind of in order, at least I would eat in the morning. But then the holiday season comes around (and no, it was not holiday food that did it) and my night time job, that I already tried to quit because it is interfering with my life, asked me to work extra days..because it is a restaurant and people are on vacation...and all of that good stuff. So I did. It is actually what I expected, but AFTER is not what I expected. They put me on an extra day, and NOW ANOTHER day because a manager quit. I am messed up now and they need to fix it... Oh my, I went on a job talking spree.....Oh! Being there late at night made me so sleepy for classes in the morning. 

Now, there are the other hours in between the classes and when I have to work... this is where I would have to do stuff on my own....ewe. I walk in and see all of those machines and get anxiety. Why do I need machines?? So I sneak upstairs because I do not want anyone to notice (I hate unnecessary attention. I only like it when I am performing) and go grab a mat and do some ab work and leg work. Then I feel like everyone is looking me, so I quit, thus sending me to the cardio cinema. I go watch and amazing movie while working my butt off! The issue with this is I end up paying attention to the time on the treadmill rather than how good the movie is, thus making me throw a towel over the time on the machine... then I push myself. It is actually good. And I feel good. 

I guess what I am trying to say is I hate the gym, but I need to go. I shall start my classes again. Make sure I go to sleep early, at least by 1 am. This is early for me. And I will be great. On top of that I almost only drink water now, which is awesomeeee!!! Ok I am done. Going to try to make this an early night again, it is almost 1 am. At least I should be sleep by 2!! Good night loves, until next time. 


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